The Refining Pot

I always thought that I did pretty good handling God's tests.  How arrogant of me.

We are selling our home and had been waiting 2 weeks for an answer that could impact us financially.  I had been fine (or so I falsely believed).  I was "trusting" in God to deliver the answer (the answer that I wanted).

Surely, if God had made it clear to us that we were to make this move that He would make it easy on us.  But that isn't biblical thinking, there is no verse in the bible that says "If you do what I ask you to it will be easy".  Not even close.

While at the pool with friends I received an email with the answer that we had been waiting for.  However, it was the exact opposite answer from what we were hoping for.  I was angry, no longer able to enjoy the morning, more harsh to my children than they deserved as we were packing to leave, and basically acting in a way that was the exact opposite of actually trusting in God.

After putting the kids in bed for naps I sat down to respond to this disappointing emailed answer.  My Bible was next to the computer.  In the rush to get ready for our fun day I had also neglected my quiet time this morning.  I knew that my heart was not right, and I knew that the only thing that could change that was time with God.  I pushed aside the computer and opened the quiet time book.  One of the first verses I read:

"The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, but the LORD tests hearts." Proverbs 17:3

Ouch.

I had just failed a pretty simple test - in an epic way.  I can "trust" God while waiting on an answer, but pretty much pitch a huge temper tantrum when I do not get the answer that I wanted.  But my heart was wrong.  My desire should be for God's answer, not my own.

But do you know what the best part is?  That despite my failure, God still promises to work all things for good for those who love Him.  And, despite my shortcomings and sinful nature, I do love God desperately, and deep down, I know that His plans are infinitely better than our own.

I am praying and pleading this verse today:

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 52:10

Thank you God for using this day and this disappointment to teach me a truth about the contents of my heart.  Please help me to have a renewed, right heart so that when it is tested, it is pleasing to You.

I can't wait for my kids to wake up so that I can sit down with them, apologize for my harshness, and read these verses to them and talk about the importance of the contents of our hearts.